


Save You

by captainhoran



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-17
Updated: 2013-01-17
Packaged: 2017-11-25 19:16:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,416
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/642132
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainhoran/pseuds/captainhoran
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Zayn hooks up with Liam, he had no idea he’d fall for the boy Liam had cheated on.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Save You

Zayn was ready for a night on the town. He looked himself over in the mirror, admiring his features and scowling at his flaws. With a quick muss of his quiff, he left the house with a determined look on his face. It had been weeks since he’d been laid, and he was ready to end that streak tonight. 

He was meeting his friends Louis and Harry at the club. Zayn loved them, but was often left the third wheel when they went out together. Most times they just made out, which was great, just not when it was only the three of them. 

A relationship sounded like a nice concept to Zayn, but he just wasn’t ready. What Louis and Harry shared was fantastic and beautiful to Zayn, but he just hadn’t met the Louis to his Harry. Perhaps tonight he would. 

There was loud music and rainbow lights flashing everywhere when he entered Babylon. Muscular men were dancing in tight underwear on the platforms that were dotted through out the building. Zayn looked around, unsure of where his friends could be. Suddenly someone crashed into him. He turned abruptly to face Zayn. His blue eyes pierced right into Zayn, causing his heart to suddenly race. 

“Sorry,” he mumbled before walking away.

Zayn watched him momentarily.

“Have you seen a tall brunette?” He asked a man wearing a leather vest.

“Someone in particular, or do you just have a craving?” Was his reply.

“He has a birthmark right here.” The blonde boy pointed to his neck. He was wearing long sleeves, which Zayn thought as odd considering the heat in the club. 

As Zayn observed the conversation, he suddenly heard his name in the distance. He turned to see Louis and Harry waving him over from the bar. When he joined his friends, he felt a bit less out of place.

“I’ll take what they’re having,” Zayn nodded to the bartender. He admired his arms as he poured the clear liquid into the glass, mixing it with some sort of sweet and sour mixture and other things Zayn was unsure of. 

Whatever it was, the drink turned out in a light pink color. Zayn took a big first drink, ready to unwind. 

“So?” Harry asked from his position draped around Louis.

“What?” Zayn yelled over the pounding music. 

“See anyone you fancy?” Louis smirked. He was running his hand through Harry’s curls, causing his partner to lean into his hand affectionately. 

“Maybe…” Zayn admitted. “I lost him, though.”

He scanned the crowd looking for the blonde, but came up short. 

Harry leaned over and whispered something into Louis’ ear, causing his chin to tilt up slightly. With a nod from Louis, Harry grabbed tightly to his hand and led him to the dance floor.

“Coming?” Louis called behind him.

Zayn set down what little was left of his drink and ventured into the dance floor. It didn’t take long for other men to give him interested looks, and a few grazes of his arm. His eyes locked with a boy with brown hair, and suddenly he knew exactly what he wanted. With a smirk of recognition from his infatuation, Zayn made his way over to him. 

They danced intimately, every part of their bodies touching. They got closer as their comfort with each other grew, their foreheads touching slightly.

“I’m Zayn,” he had to shout it in the other boy’s ear due to the music. 

“Liam,” was the answer. Liam pulled his head back to examine Zayn more closely. He let his hand rest on Zayn’s stomach as they continued moving their bodies to the beat. His hand found the edge of the shirt and let it travel up slightly, causing a chuckle from the tan boy. 

Liam brought himself in closer as his hand, still under Zayn’s shirt, traveled around to the small of Zayn’s back. His lips started at Zayn’s jawline, quickly traveling to his mouth. Liam let his crotch rub roughly against the other’s, reveling in the sensation with still two layers of denim between them. Liam’s hands traveled under Zayn’s shirt, exploring every aspect of the radiating warmth. He gently bit Zayn’s bottom lip when the kiss ended, their eye contact lingering. Zayn could hardly hear the blaring music anymore. 

“Yours or mine?” Liam whispered seductively into Zayn’s ear. His warm breath causing chill down Zayn’s entire being.

“Yours,” Zayn replied. He felt like being adventurous. 

Liam cracked a smiled and led him away by his hand. When Zayn passed by Louis and Harry, Harry smiled in awe at his prize, and Louis wiggled his fingers and eyebrows. 

The night was full of glorious blow jobs, fucking, and rimming. You name it, Liam could do it. There wasn’t much left unseen or unheard when they were finished, every inch of each other’s bodies explored and conquered. 

Zayn woke up before Liam did the next morning. He stretched like a cat and squinted at the sunlight trickling in from the window. His body ached intensely from the happenings of the night before. He decided clothes weren’t necessary on his trip to search for coffee, so he left them on the floor next to the bed. 

He examined the open architecture of the loft. The hardwood floor was smooth beneath his bare feet. He searched for coffee in the cupboards but came up short. The sound of keys in the front door caused alarm for Zayn, who hid behind the island. 

The door came open and a blonde walked through, looking through a stack of mail. Was that the same blonde as the night before? Suddenly Zayn felt sick as he remembered the birthmark on Liam’s neck. He wouldn’t let himself draw conclusions, maybe they were friends? Brothers, even. 

The thoughts were crushed when the blonde saw Liam on the bed, still naked under the blanket. He jumped on top of him to wake him up, planting a kiss on his lips. Zayn suddenly felt uncomfortable. He eyed his clothes that were still lying next to the bed. 

“Hm? Morning, Nialler,” Liam said, returning the kiss. He looked over to his right to see the spot where Zayn was was empty. Niall glanced over to where Liam had, a frown forming on his brow. He rolled off of him and landed on his back. The spot was still slightly warm. 

Liam shifted over and kissed Niall’s neck, nuzzling into him as he felt for the waistline of his jeans. His hand found the button and unfastened it. He put his hand in and began rubbing as he passionately kissed the blonde. 

Zayn watched the scene from where he was hiding, suddenly feeling aroused himself. He backed up slightly to get out of their view in case they saw him. His elbow brushed a pan that was sitting on the counter, sending it clattering to the floor. He tensed as he silently cured at the forsaken pan. Knowing his presence had been revealed, he rose from behind the island in the kitchen, looking nervously to the side. 

One look at the blonde caused Zayn’s heart to shatter into a million pieces. His face was full of resentment and humiliation. 

“Niall,” Liam tried to explain. 

It was too late, Niall quickly sat up and zipped up his jeans. He didn’t seem angry, just sad. That’s what confused Zayn the most. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have intruded,” Niall said. He left the loft quickly, leaving the door cracked in his haste. 

Zayn watched as he left, taken aback by his attitude. He noticed he was wearing long sleeves again. It was so hot out, how could he stand it? 

Liam examined the naked Zayn from his position in his bed. Maybe he was up for another go? 

Zayn went to the bed and picked up his clothes, starting to put them on. How could he have been so stupid? 

“Hold on,” Liam said, scooting closer to Zayn and wrapping his arms around him. “You could do with a shower, yeah?”

“I’ll take one at home.” Zayn felt his tone turn flat and hard. 

“Why? Are you worried about Niall? He doesn’t mind, promise.” Liam let his hands travel down Zayn’s chest. All Zayn could think of were those piercing blue eyes, and how he never wanted to see them cry. He shrugged Liam off and finished dressing. 

Without another word to the brunette, Zayn left the loft. He didn’t feel like bothering with the lift, so he took the stairs in a rush. When he rounded one of the corners he nearly knocked Niall over. 

“Oh, my god. I’m so sorry,” Zayn said without realizing who he’d run into. “Oh.”

Niall looked at Zayn and quickly looked down, hiding his face in his sleeves. Zayn couldn’t help but reach out and touch his shoulder in an attempt at comfort. Niall immediately reeled back, looking up in defense at the boy he’d never met before.

“He didn’t tell me he had a boyfriend,” Zayn tried to explain. “If I had known, I never would have…” 

Niall nodded his head in understanding. No words were acceptable in this situation, and his tears wouldn’t allow them anyway. He leaned into Zayn, unable to control his sobs without falling over. This wasn’t the first time, why would it be the last? 

Zayn took the crying boy in his arms and held him, trying his best to make him feel better. He lifted a hand to stroke his blonde hair, relishing in their softness. He felt his shirt begin to get wet from the choked sobs emitting from the small boy in his grasp. 

“Sorry,” Niall said when he pulled away. He grabbed the end of his sleeve and wiped his eyes with it. “I don’t usually cry about it.” 

“It’s happened more than once?” Zayn asked in shock. 

“I guess I bore him sometimes,” Niall explained with a sad smile. 

“How is that possible?” Zayn asked in all seriousness. How could anyone tire of such a pretty visage? 

Niall laughed at his question, not believing him for a second. 

“I should get back up there.”

“You’re going back?” Zayn sounded a bit crushed. 

“As if I have a choice,” Niall said as he climbed the stairs. 

“Wait,” Zayn grabbed Niall by the arm. The sudden contact caused Niall to reel back and hiss as if he were in pain. He grabbed the inside of his arm with his other hand and looked back like a defeated doe at Zayn. “I’m sorry… Did I hurt you?”

Niall left without another word. 

When he made it back to the loft, Liam was still lying in bed expecting his inevitable return. Niall briefly thought how he’d feel if one day there wasn’t a return. The thought slipped away immediately as he slipped off his jeans and climbed in bed with Liam. 

Niall straddled Liam and leaned in to kiss him gently, eventually gaining intensity in a crescendo. Liam’s hands traveled up Niall’s stomach beneath his shirt. Niall looked down at the brunette, wondering how he could ever leave those brown eyes. Those brown eyes that melted into glistening pools of chocolate only when Niall was around. Niall moved his lips to the spot on Liam’s neck that he knew well, causing a moan to come from him. 

Liam tugged at Niall’s shirt, but Niall looked nervously to the side. With a bit more teasing and encouraging, Niall allowed his shirt to be lifted over his head. Liam’s eyes immediately darted to the fresh wound on his right wrist.

“Another one?” Liam asked impatiently.

“I…” Niall tried to explain, but his words were lost. 

“How stupid are you? Why do you hurt yourself like this?” 

Niall wanted to tell Liam how he felt. How Liam was the root for all of his insecurities, and how he wanted desperately for him to love him and only him. 

“I’m sorry. I am stupid, you’re right.” Niall held back the tears like the expert he was. 

Liam examined the new cut on Niall’s arm. It was surrounded by many others, most of them scarred, some of them faded. 

“You didn’t even treat it.” Liam’s eyes were hard again as he sighed heavily at his boyfriend’s actions. 

“I’m sorry.” That was the only safe thing to say around Liam at times like these. 

Liam walked him to the bathroom and found some peroxide and a big bandage that would cover the area of the cut. He looked intently at Niall after he had finished doctoring the cut.

“I’m sorry,” Niall said again. What he was sorry for, he couldn’t decide. 

~~

Zayn rose early the next day, fighting the pounding head ache he had. He rubbed his aching head and looked for coffee to make. When he realized he was out of coffee, he cursed loudly. He decided to dress quickly so he could grab coffee on the way to work. 

The sun was bright in his eyes as he made his way down the sidewalk, shading himself with a raised hand. He sighed in content as the view of the coffee shop meant the refuge of sweet, sweet caffeine. 

His stomach growled as he eyed the pastries in the clear display case. His diet could wait another day, right? When he went to the register, he nearly fell over in surprise. Niall nearly did the same. 

“We’ve got to stop meeting like this,” Zayn admitted. “It’s not good for my health.”

Niall laughed at the comment, then as if he realized he was supposed to be sad he stopped suddenly. 

“What can I get you?” He asked in a professional manner. Zayn noticed he was wearing a long sleeved white shirt beneath his green staff shirt. It piqued his curiosity, but he kept his mouth shut. Everything about Niall seemed to draw him in. “Hello?” Niall asked when Zayn went off into his thoughts.

“Sorry!” Zayn said quickly. “I’ll take a large black coffee. One of those cream cheese danishes too, please.” 

“Those are the best,” Niall gushed as he picked up a large cup and a sharpie. “Um… Your name?” 

“Zayn.” He spelled it out for him, smiling at how Niall blushed. Niall grabbed his danish with tongs and placed it in a bag, handing it to him with a smile. 

“Thanks.”

He walked to the side slightly, waiting for his name to be called with his coffee. He watched as Niall played with the ends of his sleeves nervously. Zayn was so attracted to the boy, but he also felt so protective of him. It seemed so strange to him. 

“Zayn?” A girl called from the counter. She looked questioningly at Niall who was preoccupied with another customer. 

Zayn smiled at her when he grabbed the cup. He then looked at it with shock. Under his name was a number scrawled out in sharpie, signed by none other than Niall. Before he left the shop, he stole one last glance at the boy who had been watching him leave. He smiled sheepishly and looked back down at his sleeves. 

 

“How’d it go with plaid shirt?” Louis asked when Zayn had arrived to work. Zayn punched his time card and put on his apron. 

“He was wearing a plaid shirt?” Zayn asked, causing a loud laugh from Louis.

They worked at a warehouse store, where everything was sold in bulk.

“Didn’t see much of that shirt, then?” 

“Not really.” Zayn was still lost in this mornings encounter with Niall. “Louis, can I ask you something?”

“Sure, buddy.” Louis grabbed a list of items that they had to inventory. 

“If there was something you wanted, but you knew it was wrong…” Zayn started, trying to word it correctly. 

“Go on?” Louis said with an arched brow, unsure of what scenario Zayn was describing. 

“Say you fancied a boy who was already taken…”

“Zayn, I love you man, but there’s no way I’m leaving Harry for you.” Louis said in a heartbeat.

“I’m not talking about you, you idiot!” Zayn smacked him on the back of the head. 

“Then who? Did plaid shirt have a boyfriend?” Louis asked with narrowed eyes.

“Yes… But he didn’t tell me until after everything.” 

“Stay away from him. Once a cheater, always a cheater,” Louis said with confidence.

“No, it’s not Liam that I want…” Zayn trailed off again.

“Who is Liam?”

“Plaid shirt.”

“Ah,” Louis nodded in understanding. “So who, then?”

“Liam’s boyfriend,” Zayn finally admitted. He had been unable to get the bloke from his mind. 

“Does he know that you and Liam…” Louis made an obscene gesture that caused Zayn to erupt in laughter.

“Yeah. But the thing is, Liam said he didn’t have a problem with it. But I ran into him in the stairwell where he was crying,” Zayn said in a rush. “I just don’t think Liam knows how to care about Niall the way that I could.”

“Slow down, Malik,” Louis cautioned. “How long have you known this Niall?”

“One day,” Zayn said, suddenly realizing how brash he sounded. 

“And what do you know about Liam and Niall’s relationship?”

“Nothing. Oh, man.”

“See? You’re acting a bit out of your range here.” Louis looked up and mentally counted the crates above him. 

“How long did it take you to fall for Harry?” Zayn challenged.

“Less than a second,” Louis responded immediately before realizing he’d lost his case. 

“That’s what I thought.”

“Be careful, please,” Louis warned. “You don’t know what their life is like. Niall might not be able to reciprocate your feelings.”

“That’s why he gave me his number?” Zayn boasted as he waved the coffee cup in front of him before taking another sip. 

“How romantic,” Louis said, but he sounded as though he wanted to barf. “You gonna call him?”

“I’ll give it a day.”

“Good plan.”

~~

Niall stepped into the bath and soaked up the warmth. His eyes wandered to the puckered skin on his right arm. He let his fingers graze over them, the fresher ones stinging at his touch. He itched for a blade to dig into the delicate tissue. 

He let his thoughts drift away from himself, immediately thinking of Liam. The thought of the other boy brought a tight feeling to his chest. His infidelity did so much more to Niall than he ever let him see. 

He thought of Liam’s most recent conquest, and how strong his arms felt around him when he cried into his chest. He smiled fondly at how he’d seen him this morning, and how quickly he’d let him in. 

Suddenly everything went dark again as he thought back to Liam. How could he have done that? Why did he give Zayn his number? Sure, Liam did it with guys all the time. But Niall should never, and he knew that. He quickly washed and exited the bath. He had an itch that he needed to scratch, that only sharp metal could really help with.

“So stupid!” Niall shouted out loud as he wrapped a towel around him and sat on his bathroom floor. The cold tile shocked him slightly, causing him to shiver. He reached under the side of the bath tub, one of his secret stashes. He examined his arm intently, the white flesh that disgusted him so much. 

He felt his adrenaline racing as he brought the cold metal to his skin, the hairs rose slightly in anticipation. Just as it pricked the skin, Niall heard his phone buzzing on the counter. He wanted more than anything to ignore it, but he gave in and placed the blade back in its secret spot. 

“Hello?” He answered, despite the unknown number.

“Niall? Hey…” After a pause he added, “It’s Zayn.”

“Oh, hi.” Niall suddenly felt lost. “What are you up to?”

“I was about to ask the same, I’m totally bored.” 

“Same!” Niall replied, perhaps a bit too quickly. 

“Really? No Liam around?”

“No…”

“Want to come over to mine? I’ve got an Xbox,” Zayn said smoothly.

“Can’t resist that!” Niall smiled genuinely at the sentiment. 

“Great! I’ll text you the address.”

“Be there soon.” Niall shut his phone and looked down to where he’d been sitting just before. He shook his head and left the bathroom to get dressed. He made sure to wear a long sleeved shirt and jeans. He placed his converse on his feet and headed for the door. 

He sighed at how hot it was outside, wishing it was winter. He craved the security his sweaters offered him. As he walked, he mindlessly squeezed at his mutilated arm. He knew going to Zayn’s was a bad idea, he knew he’d punish himself for it later. 

When he arrived at Zayn’s flat, he couldn’t decide whether he wanted to go in or not. He paced outside the door for several minutes, contemplating each option. He eventually gave in and knocked on the door, almost immediately regretting it. 

When Zayn answered the door with a wide smile, all Niall was able to notice were his broad shoulders and strong arms. He couldn’t help but imagine what being held in them felt like. If Liam knew, why couldn’t he? He shook the thought quickly, mentally chastising himself for even considering. 

“Come in,” Zayn said cheerfully. Something about his mood was contagious, and Niall smiled back. 

“So what games do you have?” Niall asked after a few moments of silence.

“Oh, right. How about FIFA?” 

“Oh, man, do you have the newest one?” Niall asked excitedly as he sat on the couch. 

They played video games for a good two hours, Niall cursing loudly when he lost. Zayn looked over a few times at his sleeves, long yet again. 

“Fuck this,” Niall growled when he’d lost yet again.

“I’ve got mad skills, sorry.” Zayn silently wondered if he should have let him win. A long glance from Niall’s direction caused all thoughts to leave his brain. 

“So, what now?” Niall asked.

“Why do you always wear long sleeves?” Zayn asked out of nowhere. He hadn’t intended on confronting him about his observation, it just came out on accident.

Niall looked down nervously, stretching his sleeves to make sure they covered his arm completely. He rubbed his neck as he felt his face grow red.

“I’m sorry, I-“

“No, it’s okay. I should go.” Niall started to stand.

“No, don’t!” Zayn grabbed his arm, causing Niall to flinch away in pain. “Are you okay?”

“Not really, no.” No one knew about Niall’s self harm besides Liam. He wasn’t sure if he wanted to trust Zayn with the intimate details of his depression. Zayn stood and closed the distance between them, keeping their faces inches apart. 

“Why are you so secretive? I just want to know you.” Zayn pressed his forehead to Niall’s, a much more intimate gesture than he had intended.

Niall swallowed, afraid he was going to do something he shouldn’t. Suddenly there was a waterfall of tears coming from the blonde, causing a small panic from Zayn. 

“Niall? Oh my god,” Zayn said frantically He took the crying boy in his arms and rested his chin on top of the golden locks. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“No, it’s not. I’m a fuck up. I shouldn’t have come here. Now Liam’s going to get angry with me,” Niall confessed his fears into Zayn’s chest. 

“He’s the one sleeping around,” Zayn muttered beneath his chest.

“Well, you’re the one sleeping with other people’s boyfriends!” Niall shouted as he shoved Zayn away. 

“That’s not fair.”

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” Niall looked down.

“Stop saying you’re sorry.” Zayn lifted Niall’s head and cupped his chin. 

“It’s my fault Liam sleeps around,” Niall confessed through his blubbering tears. 

“How is it?” Zayn asked in disbelief.

“I disgust him.”

“Why would you think-“

“Because of this,” Niall said in a harsh tone as he yanked up his right sleeve. Zayn’s heart sank to his stomach as he saw the marred skin that patched his arm. For once, Zayn was speechless.

He wanted to reach out and touch them, magically healing them with his affection. Niall reeled back once more and tugged his sleeve back down. 

“I have to go. Liam will be waiting.”

~~

Zayn knew that his phone would buzz and light up if he received a call, but he couldn’t help but check it over and over just in case he’d missed a call. He’d left Niall several voice mails and texts, but had yet to receive a reply. It had been four days since he’d last seen him. Zayn tried to catch him at the coffee shop, but the staff all said he’d called in for the next few days. Then after that, hadn’t bothered to show up at all. 

He paced up and down the sidewalk, wanting desperately to see him. It was clear that Niall didn’t want any contact with Zayn, but Zayn wasn’t about to go down without a fight. After some deliberation, he decided to take a trip to the public library. He’d been meaning to catch up on his reading. 

The automatic doors slid open, and Zayn entered the precious air conditioning. It had been unbearably hot recently. Zayn pondered briefly how Niall was coping in his long sleeves. He walked over to the Historical Fiction section, he loved a good story that taught him random bits of history. 

When he rounded the corner to the correct aisle, he whipped back around and caefully peeked around the corner. There he was. Niall was reading the back of a novel, trying to decipher the plot. Zayn breathed in evenly and let out a sigh. He approached him, and tapped him on the shoulder.

Niall jumped in a panic, he hadn’t heard Zayn approach. He removed the white ear buds from his ear.

“Hey,” Zayn said gently.

Niall didn’t reply. Something about the way Niall looked at Zayn caused his heart to break. 

“Niall, I…” Zayn tried to get his thoughts out in a comprehensive sentence.

“Save it,” Niall said after a pause. “Please, just stop. Please.”

“Stop what?” Zayn looked at him with a befuddled look. 

“I can’t stand you.” Niall ran a hand through his hair. “You’ve gotten to me, and I can’t let that happen.”

“Why not?” 

“Because of Liam, I-“

“Fuck Liam,” Zayn said sternly.

“Shh, we’re in a library,” Niall warned. “I can’t leave Liam, Zayn.” 

“You said you disgusted him. Why do you think that?” 

Niall looked to the side before saying, “The way he looks at me when he notices a new cut… I can just feel it.”

“I would never make you feel like that.”

“Maybe not at first, but after a while you’d get bored with me. Just like Liam.”

“Bored with you? You’re all I’ve been thinking of for a week straight!” Zayn challenged.

“Sure, but after another week? And a week after that? I’m not the type of guy people keep around.” Niall’s voice almost broke in the last sentence. 

Zayn gave him a soft look, breathing in his insecurities. He took his right arm and gently place his hand on the inside where the cuts resided. Niall didn’t pull away this time.

“How long have you been doing this?” Zayn asked with a clear sincerity in his voice.

“Four months,” Niall confessed without a blink. 

“And how long have you been with Liam?” 

“Six months.”

Zayn took this into consideration before stepping closer to him.

“And how long has Liam been sleeping around?”

“Four… months…” Niall tore the contact between his and Zayn’s eyes.

“I’m seeing a pattern here.”

“It’s my fault,” Niall said quickly. “I’m boring. I bored him, so he started seeing other people. But he loves me, I’m just boring.”

“He loves you, but he lets you do this?” 

“I…” Niall’s words were becoming less and less cohesive. 

Zayn connected their lips, causing a start from Niall. He felt his senses shutting down, and all thay he could feel was Zayn’s lips. All the sex he’d had with Liam hardly amounted to the feeling he experienced in Zayn’s kiss alone. 

“Let me save you,” Zayn whispered when they disconnected.

“Is that all I am to you?” Niall asked. “Some stupid charity act?”

“Niall, no, never, I mean-“

“I’m not a lost case, Zayn. I can take care of myself.” 

And just like that, he was gone. 

~~

Zayn plopped down on his couch, depression seeping through his veins. He replayed the day’s events in his head, wincing at the bad moments toward the end. He laid his head on one end of the couch, not entirely sure of why he felt so tired. 

Without realizing, he’d dozed off. He was awoken by a rapping on the door. He checked the clock and was shocked to see it was half past ten. He answered the door and was shocked to see Niall standing outside, and apology in his eyes.

There were no words exchanged as Niall entered the house, aggressively kissing Zayn. He hastily took Zayn’s shirt off, and continued kissing his lips. Zayn kissed Niall back, and pushed him against the wall. He skimmed his jawline with his nose before looking deep into his eyes, requesting permission to continue.

Niall answered by kissing him once more. Zayn guided him to his bedroom, all the while kisses were exchanged. Zayn pressed Niall back onto the bed, he crawled on top, kissing him passionately. Niall rolled him over, feeling a rush of confidence as his lips stayed connected. He removed his long sleeved shirt, revealing his cuts and scars. Zayn noticed a few on his stomach as well. He reached up and caressed them.

The blond looked away, embarrassed at the state of his body. Zayn pulled him down and rolled over so he was on top again.

“You’re beautiful,” Zayn whispered to Niall. 

They made love in a way Niall never knew possible. He felt as though he knew everything he could ever know about Zayn. Every part of his body responded positively to the tan boy he was entangled with. 

“I love you,” Zayn said softly when they had finished and were wrapped in each others comforting embrace. Niall tried to remember the last time Liam had ever said that to him.

~~

Niall stood outside of Liam’s loft with jumbled nerves. He held the key in his hand, ready to open the door. When he couldn’t gain the courage, he looked at Zayn’s encouraging text. The message simply read “bravery,” but it was all that Niall needed. 

He unlocked the door and stepped in with confidence. He wasn’t surprised to see Liam wrapped up in another man, and this time he wasn’t saddened by it. He stalked into his sectioned off room, and opened the bottom drawer where his things were kept. 

“Niall? What are you doing?” Liam pushed the stranger away from him. 

Niall said nothing, he simply grabbed a duffle bag and stuffed the spare clothes he kept at Liam’s in it. 

“Niall, stop!” Liam got out of the bed and started reversing Niall’s actions, putting the clothes back in the drawer. 

It went on like that for several minutes. The stranger had gotten dressed and left, sensing his presence was no longer welcome. 

“I’m leaving, Liam,” Niall’s eyes were stone.

“Niall… Please, don’t do this.” Something about it all broke Niall’s heart, but he continued on. 

“I have to.”

“No, no you don’t,” Liam pleaded. He grabbed Niall and wrapped his arms around the boy. “I’ll change, I promise.”

“You’ve had four months to change, Li. You’ve had four months to try and save me.”

“Save you?” Liam was at a loss. He suddenly realized that Niall was wearing a short sleeved shirt. “Niall…” 

“Liam, stop. You can’t do anything to change my mind.” 

Liam simply nodded. Niall’s heart still beat for Liam, and it always would to an extent. He leaned in and kissed him one last time, lingering slightly so as to remember if he ever felt the need to. 

“Goodbye.”

He stopped by his flat to drop off his clothes and personal hygiene materials. There was one more thing he needed to do. He scavenged the house, removing every blade he had hidden. When he had hit every hiding spot, he tossed them in a box followed by the trash can. He smiled at the incoming text from Zayn, and left the flat with a new sense of hope.


End file.
